Tone-in-oz just doing it anyway

Friday, July 15, 2011

Little ol lady, grrrr

Bile and sweat.
Little old lady said I should exercise.

I already do a fair bit of walking on the job, from the van to the store room where the goods are, about 150 paces in, 150 paces out, back in , back out, for three shifts a day.

For insurance purposes, now the crims can see see
what's available, instead of being able to hide behind
the shubbery and finding NOTHING HAHAHA
Which is no where close to the TEN THOUSAND steps the doc said I orta do...

My knees are either itchy or stinging with occasional pains, the back wanted to stop moving mid job today, I am not supposed to Crack My Back, like in when you crack ya knuckles...
I cut down the side hedge today between delivery shifts. Even got a sweat up! And NOTHING in the eyeballs this time. The poor electric chainsaw (I am in surburbia Marv!) lost it's chain a few times, but so far so good.

But the little old lady that never knows that when she says anything, I just want to leave. Age does not mean you act like you are absolutely correct and  and and ah wtf, it's my job, the client has to be coddled etc etc.

But still...I unfortunately got to know her and her late hubby, and just have to put a brave happy face on it. Bugger.

She had watched a Brit show about ex-celebrities from the 70's and how they are coping with old age... I have not watched it. Reaching the middle of my life span has not encouraged me to lift the exercise regime above getting out of bed, lifting the kettle...

I have been accused, justly or not, of being a lazy bstd, like, not concerned with making more money to send all the kids to a better school or even getting a better job. Or being told after complaining on missing the rig life and it's money, "that's your choice", with no apparent empathy at all expressed!  Or being a busy body and wanting something that is not mine. Hmph, once I needed a hand and given a backhander instead. What about being too nosy about something that concerns me and mine? Same thing.   Or being told on the phone "I would punch you..." Bloody great. I really do not have the words to "put people in their place", or make them shut up and think about things before they open their mouths for their So Important and So Quick Comments regahgh34r6242@#$% rage rant geZUZ!
Am I too nice, and just a floor mat? I do let slip inappropriate things, and suffer silently later-  You IDIOT!
Always comes back to haunt me! Or someone will kindly refresh me memory of the slip-up. Thanks. Or let what others do to me go, cos really, what the fuck is the point of the pettiness, theirs and mine.

Those people. They are not on my bbq list. I had wanted to be on theirs, like ie sharing a common lifestyle like oilrigs. Or you would think so. Been there done that high pressure job, and the next job down that line will be when the gels can be looked after and I don't feel so guilty deserting them just fore money... and the job will be what I can handle, but not what I can think I can handle! Limitations are appearing and maybe I always had them?

My kids: are fine; well adjusted- to me; well looked after- by me; are considered great kids by everybody. Well, that's what I am told. So thanks to all those who helped me or is helping me. But. Am I to be concerned, like, that's not what it is in fact...? Reality is completely arse about?

And now- the Sun Shines In. lot of shit to move though... :-(
I would like to shut the door and just go, but being a parent and a child of great parents and the partner of a great wife (RIP Tarn who Picked Me And The Hoose don't forget.) who also had great folks. I have to go on in my own way. Tarn's always there, like a bloody ghost I spose, or the angel/devil on my back.

Really don't see why I bother getting up. Not lazy, but losing focus on other big things that people choose to do? I cope, I know I have to make a bit more the next few years as I do have twin gels... I have things that others dont, and everything I need really. But I cut people out, don't like spending money at the pub or cafe anymore, I cannot keep up with Desperate Housewives or Parenthood or Brothers and Sisters anymore, and the bills keep chipping away at the rainy day money and and

Stuff it, some people think they know better, and well, Good On Them, thanks for that and now shut up "Front Door" Behind You and piss off. Wankers.

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