Tone-in-oz just doing it anyway

Friday, November 26, 2010

marvined by the plumbing

As you know by now, I like cutting out the experts, and fixing or doing home improvements all by myself. It is not rocket surgery.
However.
The previous owners (in the 1980's) of my place of residence  [as of 2010] liked to make sure that the new owners (them and us) enjoyed a modernised Victorian/Edwardian type built house (1913),  but without the outside facilities! The was only  a modicum of electrical outlets around each and EVERY room. Like- ONE!? There was a wine cellar, irrigation for the garden and fruit trees and a garage to garage a Mini Minor {FYI  a very small car}. And  Tool Shed. ( The to be Alcoholery!)*
So an eon ago, the renovations were that the laundry and bathroom facilities were combined within the house, but in a room large enough to swing a cat by it's tail- fair dinkum, (just pivot upon one foot!). And a legacy hot water system. Another story.
Past readers may remember I cleaned the bathroom outfall recently. To great success IMHO.
Last weekend I took it upon myself to clean the U-tube of the shower as egress of the waste water was slowing down again, and having five people shower (almost) everyday, meant that hair was a problem, to be cleaned up by the adult - later on of course... 
A newish wire clothes hanger was undone and rebent (old ones are too stiff) as a hook for this jetsam (it doesn't float). At least that worked, but - not a lot was gained. The outflow was Still slow, and puddling up towards my ankles.
The old maxim of if it works leave it----- I still don't leave things alone even if it looks okay even a small bit...
So under the house I went, with the trusty tools of old- they worked last time anyway. It was not gunna take that long, three little plastic couplings! But being plastic plumbing pipe, it looked now like it would only handle one more monkey wrench - especially being recessed in the floorboards immediately adjacent to a bearer. The tools were difficult to use. Got it apart.
I cleaned out NOTHING from the pipes, NOTHING.
And then, would it all connect up again without a LEAK. BAH, NO-  so it could wait. Two hours Saturday, no tools could tighten the fittings, diy shops shut. Surely the o-rings were in place? Course- who would leave them out, or back to front? Baths only- at least that drains after you have finished.
My shoulders ached for NO reason early Sunday morning- what had I been doing lately for that!? AH! The DIY under the house- where I had moved the bricks to make room was still only enough to slide in under the flooring from the wine cellar, and on Saturday, it was uncomfortable, a bit. Would middle teenaged second boy have to have his first bath in years prior to Leaving for a Tassie trip via a ferry at lunch time... So try a another time to tighten up the ferrules. Nah- Bath time mate. Then drop him off at the city/ferry bound coach with a bunch of other kids. See you, be Good and have a good time, BYE!
Then to the shop.
Sunday. Two hours! - had to buy a tool just for plastic fittings at near closing time...
Still LEAKS! Even with another hand (#1 son) "up there" in the shower to apply torque, no success.
Monday, still no success! Another tool to make sure that one fitting was sealing the gap between the shower floor and the outlet. Forty dollars down. Six hours time. Shoulders sore enough to make me cringe on lifting my arms. Bugger it.
Tuesday. I was already down the street, and with no deliveries to do, why not get some NEW FITTINGS? $20 only!!
Got back . Half naked to change into grungy clothes, I was about to Get Back Under The Floor at 10:30am, and a little knock on the back door?! I had to cry wolf to a friend who would have loved to have had a coffee and so with a "Please let me fix this before I get a bulldozer in?", I missed out on a coffee break and was left alone with the Beast Under The Floor. Again.
The new fittings! But I could not get one old top one out! Well, they screwed together at first. Better to leave that one... Sawed and chiseled the bastard piece that would not undo with any cajoling, swearing or brute force on the specially bought tools... Had thought to use a little jet flame to melt the lot! Hmm mm. Nah, get going mate!
An hour later- no nearer to tightening up that last few turns!!!! COFFEEEEEEEEE
Work interrupted a fair bit of swearing a little later....
SILASTIC!!! Looked like that was the only way? NO!!!
So it was tightened up by 1:30pm. 
LEAKS...... @#$%^&* !
"SILASTIC!!!!" I replied to my really annoyed tired perplexed and by now lazy bloody self!
Where? EVERY JOINT YOU IDIOT!
Seemed to work. So nearly ten hours later and down about sixty bucks, I think I tamed the Leaky Beast I had created
Had a shower and went off to band practice with the twins, with a drop of water hanging off the U-tube. More silastics rather than hysterics, me-thinks...

*The Forever Bride did not notice  discrepancies, and anyway, we could always add a ensuite anywhere we wanted to! Sure.

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